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I’m watching “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” for reasons of morbid curiosity. The program takes on a classroom motif. The contestant — in this case a pretty, ditzy mom (presumably) that exemplifies why adolescents are expert eye-rollers — is paired with a kid during the questions. The contestant and kid then simultaneously answer the questions.

The program’s portrayal of the classroom is accurate, with two “Cheat” options, “peek” and “copy,” which allow the contestant to take a look at the kid’s answer or take the kid’s answer blindly. They can use each one once. I would like to congratulate AYSTA5G for their efforts toward legitimizing cheating in the minds of your young viewers. Well done.

Telling quote from the contestant: “I looooove money!”

A Sampling of Questions:

• “The density of an object is the mass of that object divided by blank.” Contestant appeared to be convinced that mass is the same thing as volume, and lucked out into continuing by cheating.
• (”audio question” in the topic of spelling read by host Jeff Foxworthy) “How many letters are in the word ‘yak’?” Contestant professes to “never have seen [that] word,” but is familiar with the word “yack.” She guessed correctly.
• “A giant panda’s natural habitat is on what continent.” Contestant thinks pandas come from Japan. Her correct answer of Asia left it uncertain whether she knows where pandas actually come from.
• “What is the only continent that is also a country?” The contestant walked away from this question with $300k rather than risking it. When Foxworthy prompted her to venture a guess even though she was safe with her precious money, she said, “Well, all of them!” The audience seemed to audibly enjoy this answer, or the impenetrable thought process behind it (as did I). She responded by crying, “Don’t laugh at me, people!” The woman could name the continents and still she ditched!

Lest you think I am too harsh on the contestant’s money-grubbing ways, consider how she ad-libbed the apparent ceremonial kowtowing of AYSTA5G upon walking away:

Foxworthy: Look into the camera, honor your promise!
Contestant: I am noooot as smart as a fifth-grader, but I’m richer, yah!!!

What a friggin’ idiot. Usually the pleasure of a game show is watching people win money. You want them to win. Except this brainless pair of tits on legs. If this imbecile has reproduced, and I fear she has, my heart goes out to her poor children.

“I loooove money!” Honestly, who lets crap like this out of their mouths?

Posted: Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 at 8:19 pm; Category: Opinion; Comments feed: RSS 2.0.
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