My Lady Tried Tha’ Scruff
It was over drinks with Mike and Kelly a couple weeks ago that we decided I would try growing a goatee. (I hate that word. Let’s call it a small beard.) The basic reasoning was that since, when I shave, even with fancy shaving gear, I’m scruffy about 10 seconds later. What if I were to grow a nice soft beard instead? And so we have this:
I was pretty self-conscious about it for the first few days, this being the first time since Scout Camp in 1995 that I’ve let my beard grow for more than 48 hours. To me it’s a presumptuous thing to change your appearance. However, people seemed to like it. The numbers were up!
After two weeks, though, it really wasn’t all that soft. Courtney had been growing a slender beard simultaneously, and Jayson wasn’t much of a fan. Jessica, though she liked the look, found she preferred the scruff of hours-old whiskers to the beard. I suggested that we wait one more week, but over the next day I began to notice that it was getting somewhat scraggly, and it was in need of a trim, which was going to be a real setback in the softness department. So I trimmed it, the results of which are shown above, and then decided to lop it right off.
A rather rough shave later (with the safety razor, I might add), I’m once again beardless. My skin looked unnaturally smooth and pale after the shave. Funny how much I’d gotten used to it.
Though it was fun to stroke from time to time, I don’t think I’ll miss worrying that a crumb or some salsa has gotten into it. And thankfully I got rid of it before allergy season — the first good, productive sneeze would have been an instant death-knell. Yuck.
September 6th, 2006 at 7:02 pm
Well, your greatgrand father would have never approved so its good its gone. His view was don’t trust someone with a beard, in other words, any man that won’t put a razor to their neck everday as they face the mirror is someone to keep a close eye on.
September 6th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Love that razor quote, GeneratorMan!
Our extended family has a “famous” photo from our family history … My Dad grew a beard for a while in the 70’s, then decided to shave it off, and a picture shows him with half a beard. A line right down the center of his face with one side bearded and one side shaven.
A couple years ago, I took a week off from work for the annual film festival, and decided to just let the beard go for those 7 days and see where it went. By the 5th day I was going nuts with the nastiness of it, but I toughed it out to the 7th day. And then I shaved it off the same way and took a picture, in tribute to my Dad. And HELL NO I am not posting that picture online :)
It just felt like crud was accumulating and decaying in there or something. My boss has a beard and picks at it constantly. It’s a rather disturbing nervous tick, actually.
September 7th, 2006 at 11:42 am
Chris, you’re fired!