Better Gift-Giving Through Spam
This morning I was thinking about the upcoming holiday season and the Christmas gifts I need to find when a new piece of spam arrived. The subject:
Fwd: Glass Sex Toys are an Acceptable Gift for any Occasion
I really feel liberated by this new knowledge. No longer shall my gifting style be cramped by social norms! Bedroom glassware for everybody!
As a sub-intellectual exercise, let’s take a moment to consider the kind of person who would be swayed by this advice. Horatio needs to find a gift for his cousin Penelope and her husband’s wedding anniversary. He’d really like to get them a nice glass sex toy (not any of that cheap rubbery stuff), but… it just doesn’t seem socially acceptable to do so. Then, lo and behold, he receives an e-mail from an unknown person. He reads the subject and sighs with relief. Of course it’s fine to get Penelope a glass sex toy! “How silly of me!” he thinks. Horatio, free of internal conflict and feeling much better about himself, orders immediately.
Okay, so maybe they’re not actually suggesting glass sex toys as an acceptable anniversary gift genre for your cousin and her hubby. Maybe your wife/girlfriend/lover/boyfriend/companion/professor would be the best (most acceptable) recipient. Still, I really don’t think that a glass sex toy would make a good “I’m sorry” gift.
November 7th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
I think you may be discounting a completely valid possibility… a glass sex toy could make a perfect “I’m sorry I broke your glass sex toy. Oh, by the way, when do you get the stitches removed?” gift. It all depends on the situation.
November 7th, 2005 at 3:27 pm
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha… Of course! How obvious!
November 7th, 2005 at 3:55 pm
Remember: Boss Day is October 16th!
November 16th, 2005 at 3:22 pm
How’s about a new post, Charles!?